房 思 琪 的初恋乐园 英文

We live in a society where "the Talk" is quite different from "the Talk" in Western books or movies. How do you translate "the Talk"?

Netflix電視劇《性教育》【Sex Education】裡充斥著經歷了「The Talk」的teenagers，隱晦的也好，直截了當的也好，模棱兩可的也好。西方社會中父母與孩子間什麼時候進行「The Talk」已經不再是諱莫如深的話題，需要遮遮掩掩；所謂的「那個談話」的初衷是為了保護孩子，讓孩子有足夠的知識，知道當一個人面對社會的時候怎樣保護自己，怎樣劃定自己的界限。好生羨慕！

電影《The Hate U Gave》的第一個鏡頭就是「The Talk」，然而，是一個非裔家庭之間的「The Talk」，這個“談話”是父母鄭重其事地告訴孩子，面對一個非裔群體依舊未完全被公平對待的社會，如果遇到警察，一定要把手放在警察看得見的地方，無論如何。隨後，顯然沒有經歷過「The Talk」朋友付出了生命的代價。在這裡，看似不一樣的「The Talk」，其實父母的初衷都是教給孩子，讓他們有足夠的知識，哪怕這「知識」是殘酷的，也要知道，從而以後一個人走向社會的時候知道怎樣保護自己，不再天真。是不幸，但又何其幸運！

遺憾的是，這兩種「The Talk」並沒有出現在「房思琪」的生命裡。她的「The Talk」大多是責備，甚至不需要責備，一個「你讓我失望了」的眼神就足夠；一聲「一個女孩子這樣讓我們父母操心」的嘆息就足夠；連她「一瞬間決定從此一輩子不說話了」的感受都是她的錯處；好真切，好不熟悉！那些「房思琪們」，本該來自父母的保護在哪裡？這個世界啊，為什麼大多數時候都是孩子在說「對不起」，孩子們究竟有多少能夠真正「傷害」到她們/他們的父母呢？

To imagine a language is to imagine a form of life.
——Ludwig Wittgenstein 【Born April 26, 1889】

如果真能躲在英文裡，

發現生活的另一種形式，

那過去還會不會追上來？

溫良恭儉讓。

幹嘛躲在英文裡？
——房思琪

Finished this book months ago, but I haven't made peace to myself with the book.

It was a turbulence on the internet due to the author's suicide as well as her parents' claim that it is an autobiographic book. It's heart breaking to read it, especially knowing she committed suicide at 26 after the publishing of the book. I could imagine how hurtful to the parents knowing the truth, but where were they during the whole thing? A 13 years old girl got seduced and raped by her teacher / neighbour that her parents trusted to? Parents have not noticed a single sign for the disaster?

Throughout the book, I grow up with Fang Sichi. It's sad, there is no help, no outer voice to her, instead, only the twisted Lolita complex growing inside of her. I could understood her choice of killing herself. And no doubt, it is a wonderful book!

People compare it with Lolita, however, knowing how Nabokov created the Lolita, it's a different situation. This book is based on pure pain and blood of a girl ignored by her parents, victim of the society. They owe her a life, a childhood, an explanation.

Lin Yi-han's background story : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUKOz...
Lin Yi-han's wedding speech : https://www.bilibili.com/s/video/BV15...

Fang Si-Chi's First Love Paradise is inspired by the author's true story where she undergoes several mental breakdown and start taking medication after having an affair with her teacher during high school. Sadly, there aren't enough evidence to put the culprit to jail.

This book narrates the life of a young girl, Fang Si-chi that got raped and sexually abuse a cram-school teacher, Liu Guo-hua which lives in her neighbourhood. Throughout the years, she continue to meet up with him. Even though she realized that she got abused and treated as a sex toy, she couldn't step out of her guilt and live a new life.

“思琪在家一面整理行李，一面用一種天真的口吻對媽媽說：「聽說學校有個同學跟老師在一起。」「誰？」「不認識。」「這麼小年紀就這麼騷。」思琪不說話了。她一瞬間決定從此一輩子不說話了。”

Throughout the book, the author touches on many important social problems, particularly in Taiwan and Asia countries. Firstly, the taboo of sex and sex education. When Fang Si-Chi and her best friend, Liu Yi-ting asked questions about sex or make jokes about sex, adults either quickly switch the topic or reprimand them. As a Malaysian, I truly felt the stress and restricted space to discuss about such heavy topics with family and friends.

It also depicts that all of us are the culprits of social problems. The book depicts that the society often quickly blame female victims of sexual assault and rape without understanding the context. A newly-wed lady, Xu Yi-wen got abused by her husband whenever he is drunk. Even though the whole neighborhood know about it, they choose to remain silent, because it's other people's business. Therefore, social problems that keep on happening from the past till now is because all of us enjoy being a bystander.

“運用一個妳其實並不懂的詞，這根本是犯罪，就像一個人心中沒有愛卻說我愛妳一樣。”

The author also questioned the power of words and literature. The teacher, Liu Guo-hua often uses poetic words to seduce and prey on young girls. The book also mentioned that he enjoy practicing quotes that he learn from reading various literature on different young girls. In an interview, the author, Lin Yi-han mentioned that the news of V.S Naipul sexually abused his wife shocked her. As a reader, we often believe that writing comes from the soul of a person and depicts the true nature. However, literature also had the power to misled us into false perception. Fang Si-chi falls in love with the words of Liu Guo-hua over and over again, even though she knows that all of it were lies. Therefore, Lin Yi-han wanted to write a book to discuss about the danger of words and literature.

"她恍然覺得不是學文學的人，而是文學辜負了她們。"

Overall, this book is a masterpiece. I gave it a 4 stars because I couldn't grasp the hidden meaning of every words and sentences due to my poor Mandarin. There are many lyrical sentences and symbolic that flew through my head. I also found the character of Liu Yi-ting retarded and dumb. A high school student got jealous because her favourite teacher sexually abuse her friend? If it's a primary school kid, I still can understand it, but a high school student that is going to graduate?

Still recommend it. May Lin Yi-han rest in peace and Fang Si-Chi's First Love Paradise continue to spread its important messages to the world.

"我想成为一个对他人的痛苦有更多的想象力的人，我想成为可以告诉那些恨不得得精神病的孩子们这种愿望是不对的那种人，我想要成为可以让无论有钱或没有钱的人都毫无顾忌地去看病的那一种人，我想要成为可以实质上帮助精神病去污名化的那一种人。" -林奕含

The Story about 13 Years old,the victim of violation. She was raped by her teacher. Delusion of love paradise he made her think that raping is true love. Eventhough fang si qi broke inside but she still endured for 5 years. It's like a heartbreaking tragedy.

The narration is amazing,fascinating and memorable. I can say that it's my first taiwanese literature i've experienced and it did not let me down at all. I enjoyed since first time until the end. love how she transform intense scences into elegant language. Ending is really sarcasm

**This book might be written from true story : The writer suicide after finished this book as her first work**

Honestly, I hope writer alive. In my point of view she was an absolutely talented taiwanese writer!!!

This is a story from Taiwanese author about two girls, living practically same lives: same age, both adore literature, befriend each other families. There are many families living in the block, and the girls like the teacher living next to them. He starts giving them private lessons, but only later one of the girls finds out her friend has been raped by this teacher, which lasted around five years, since they were 12.

If you ever read stories about survival in modern civilized safe society, this one is for you. Also it's a call for girls to live with rage, it doesn't ask for forgiveness. Also, this story is partially autobiographical, because Lin Yi-Han had been suffering from depression for a very long time, but despite fighting, she ended her life. Only after her death, public found out about her teacher raping her and her sugar-coating it with love feelings. Apparently there was legal no prove to arrest the teacher, this is why the situation was so bad.

КНИЖНЫЙ ОТЗЫВ «РАЙСКИЙ САД ПЕРВОЙ ЛЮБВИ» ЛИ ИХАНЬ, 2017

«Только потом девочки поняли: на самом деле они были не в силах оторваться от происходящего потому, что невеста очень напоминала Сыци. Это была их репетиция счастливой жизни» .

Читали ли Вы хоть раз истории о выживании в современно безопасном защищенном обществе? Две маленькие девочки живут по соседству, ходят в одну школу, дружат семьями, тусят у соседей и обожают литературу. А еще по соседству живет учитель, который дает им дополнительные уроки по доброте душевной. Через пять лет, после окончания школы, одна из девочек находит дневник другой, где узнает всю подноготную отношений подруги с учителем - этот псих издевался над ней с малолетства, а подруге просто не хватило мозгов вмешаться или удержать ее.

Книга написана в стиле, похожем на «Назови меня своим именем» - реплики персонажей находятся внутри абзаца, а сюжетные повороты происходят между строк. Перевод на русский был выполнен чрезвычайно адекватно, не смотря на обилие идиом и отсылок - по две-три на каждую страницу, - однако периодически мой взгляд цеплялся за странный синоним или какое-то структурное несоответствие.

Судя по Goodreads, те, кто знают мандарин и перевели свои отзывы на английский, писательница Ли Ихань долго страдала от депрессии. Какое-то время писательница боролась, но в итоге она покончила с собой. Уже после ее смерти вплыла история: в подростковом возрасте ее насиловал учитель (сам офигел), которого она также предпочла «полюбить», дабы защититься от боли.

Внутри книги есть более счастливые сюжетные линии, есть совсем несчастливые. Меня эта книга задела не сильно, ибо я точно знала, что я буду читать, плюс меня вдохновляют такие истории, когда в современном обществе на ровном месте приходится буквально выживать (на тему: Earthlingsby Sayka Murata, «Гротеск» Нацуо Кирино), но, пожалуйста, исходите из своих собственных возможностей - ваша собственная психика дороже любого отзыва из интернета.

I'm also happy that she's gone, left the mental illness, left the nightmare, left the memory, left the crowd, left this dirty filthy world. She deserves better.

She painted the hell we are living in, the monsters we are walking by, the silent massacre we are listening every single day. No woman cannot hear it. No one who finishes the book cannot hear it.

What's even amazing, along with the battle of mental illness and struggle from the horrible memory, she tried a new way to misuse Chinese words and phrases on purpose and was surprised successful. These well-known words suddenly reflect a different hue, light up subtle feelings in the dark corner which no one dares to touch. She forced people to think about fundamental essence and purchase of Chinese literature and art, what they were for, what they are for, and what roles they have been playing in the Chinese history. She reminded me how beautiful and magical they are and what can be under them.

一声叹息。

I was browsing Douban for well rated books and got this one. I picked it up, hoping for light-hearted/high school sweet love story, but wow, it was not that.

It was disturbing to read, but captivating. The language is beautiful. I read it quickly, put it down, and went back to the front pages and read "based on true story". Wow. Something so traumatic and so awful. Then I googled the book and learnt the author committed suicide, possibly due to the depression caused by being raped by her teacher/tutor.

Such tragedy. Beneath the individual tragedy, it might have highlighted a few societal changes that we need.
- The author didn't seem happy about the pursuit of good grades, the pressure of getting into a good school and the excessive tutoring to achieve that. There seem to be tutoring for every subject, maths, English, Chinese, physics... Let children be children.
- The shocking lack of portray of the parents and their roles in this tragedy. When Siqi was also suffering mentally and casually mentioned "why don't I get sex education" to her mother, the mother replied "that is only given to people who need it. You don't need it". When Siqi later mentioned "someone got together with a teacher", her mother's reaction was "she's a slut". Here already assuming the student is a female and the teacher male, and the fault on the student. Another character Guo Xiaoqi exposed what the teacher did to her parents, and their first reaction was shame.
- Similarly, society's attitudes towards these crimes and towards the victim vs the perpetrator. When Teacher Li's first victim "Bing Gan" told her then-boyfriend about the rape, the bf smoked and dumped her, because he couldn't bear to be with someone "dirty". What had she done? She was not the one that committed a crime. No sympathy for the victims and only slut shaming. This kind of society is suffocating.
- When Xiaoqi posted her story online, the responses she got were not supportive. There were slut shaming. There was laughing at the classic power imbalance dynamic. There was speculation she did it for money. Wow.
- Even the legal system was not helpful. When Siqi eventually went insane, and her supportive neighbour/big sister/idol with the financial means and connection found out, and sought legal help, I was so hoping for justice. Yet the lawyer said there's no evidence. What evidence? Like tissues or condoms? How do you expect a 13 yo girl to smartly collect those evidence when she's with a 50 yo well-practised repeated criminal and rapist teacher, when she didn't even receive adequate sex education? When there is such power imbalance, it's not a she said he said situation.
- Which explains why the victims put up with it for so long and the majority stay silent, even going insane.
- It's also sad the victims took themselves to the lion's den repeatedly over the years, appearing to be a willing victim. The psychological manipulation is strong. She hated herself. She admired the teacher. How could he do something like that to her, to hurt her and cause her physical and emotional pain? That must be because he loved her. Therefore she tried to love him. What twisted love. How ironic the author titled the novel "first love" and "paradise".
- I already knew the 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame was brave, to have gone through similar turmoil and came out fighting, starting charities, making noises and trying to correct the power imbalance. But most people, myself included, have no idea of the magnitude of their struggles, of how much mental strength it must take, of how many must have gone insane or committed suicide, before we hear about one brave instance.

It breaks my heart.

The short novel Fang Si-Chi's First Love Paradise by young Taiwanese writer Lin Yi-Han is a deeply dramatic story about years of physical and psychological abuse of a schoolgirl, who was only 13 years old in the beginning, by an adult man, her teacher. The reader learns about what happened from the diary, which is found by a close friend of the main character. Fang Si-Chi's diary has become a way to pour out her pain and anguish, to share what is impossible to do in the existing reality, as well as to seek support, sympathy and understanding due to prejudices. Aside from the terrible and tragic story of Fang Si-Chi, another story about domestic violence unfolds to the reader.

Despite the hard depressing themes, the style of the author is full of some kind of weightlessness, grace, epithets and metaphors, which perfectly describe the feelings and emotions of the characters. And sharper and stronger the reader feels the difference between true and false, good and evil, love and violence, which pretending to be love and striving to justify what is happening.

It is the first and only book by Lin Yi-Han. The author suffered from depression and dissociative disorder from her youth, and at the age of twenty-six she committed suicide. It is very difficult to describe the feelings that arise after reading the author's afterword (Lin Yi-Han's wedding speech), where there are so many hopes for the future. It is extremely sad to know how it all ended.

Let this book continue to spread important truth around the world.

*It has been two days since I finished the book and I still don't know how to rate it, so I leave it for other readers. *

這是一本好朋友推薦的書。中文不是我的母語所以看這本書真的給我很大的挑戰。如果只看書名會以為是部少女愛情小說，其實卻是訴說青春的傷痛。我的心真的碎了。看完書也我看了林奕含的採訪，真的是很愛文學很優秀的一位作家。可惜了。。。

I read it with a heavy heart. The author committed suicide two months after the book published. Sometimes, I wish the author has read some paragraphs before she committed suicide. She used her words to warn everyone that there are people taking pleasure in raping young girls. It's real. A sexual crime is never just about criminals and victims. Often times, it is incubated by the society where people are shamed to talk about sex.

I got goosebumps a lot while I was reading this book. I thank Yihan to show the darkest side of the world to me. It's definitely a book written with heart and soul.